I Stopped and Smelled the Roses

Here’s what happened when I stopped and smelled the roses: 

Before coming to uni I had a plan for my life, to complete psychology and do a PGCE. 

Coming to university, allowed me to meet a load of people with their own dreams and ideas about their lives. Like many others, I then started exploring other options for my future, which is completely fine and a part of life. At one point I was going to do a masters, then I was going to do a masters to complete a doctorate, then I was going to go travelling, then I was going to go home and work for a year, then I was going to do social work- but then do I want to try being a counsellor. Oh what about an educational psychologist, or an educational social worker. Oh but yes, I came here so I could do a PGCE. Through all of this, I forgot to just stay true to myself and my dream, and I let the dreams of others cloud my judgement, and cause me to stress about who I am and what I am capable of.

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It wasn’t until I created an activity with my friends, and most of them turned around to me and said ‘Actually, you know what Maya, you’d be a great teacher’, that it honed on me.

All of these options raced through my mind everyday. During the craziness that is uni, not being able to stop and just think and be still, I was only adding more and more stress to my soul about what I will be doing after graduation. What stressed me more was that I was watching the clock tick closer and closer to graduation, and I still didn’t feel like I had a plan.

In essence university did not allow me time to stop, and think about myself, what I wanted to do, and the direction I wanted to take my life.

UNTIL,

We went into this lockdown, and I have had nothing to do but be present and take time to just focus in on myself.  This time has allowed me to go back to doing the things I loved doing before I got caught up in the hubbub of university life.

I have started drawing again, painting and even as you can see writing. I am getting soo much inspiration from the world around us, from how we are communicating with each other, and still creating connections regardless of the situation, to how quiet and still the world is being because everyone is listening and is at home. It has provided me with a great appreciation for the people who I love and value, and I pray that I have been able to show you all of this.

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In this time of stillness, I have really been able to focus back on who I am, what I want and how I want things to be for me. I am feeling a lot happier now, with this space- of which I appreciate I may not get for such a prolonged period of time in the future. But I have been able to recognise that I need to make more space for the things that I like doing. Also, for time to think about my own life, instead of frantically worrying and changing my mind because I am caught up on other peoples plans.

I feel like my past indecision (while I make jokes about it) was because I had forgotten to focus on the most important person in my life (me). This time has really enabled me to refocus my focus back to Maya. But I didn’t realise that until I was blessed with this time, so I urge you to take some time to just reflect. See what has changed in this time where we are being forced to communicate differently and do nothing but spend time with ourselves, and the people we live with.

I want to highlight again, the fact that we will probably never have a time like this again, and instead of focusing on the negative side of the situation- we should all challenge ourselves to find positive. Look deeper into who you are and make sure you are okay, and that you are doing what you want to be doing, as opposed to being caught up in something that is only causing you stress.

I stopped and smelled the roses and had an epiphany, what did you have after you stopped and smelled the roses?

 

Big Hugs x

2 Comments

  1. Love this post, Maya! I had the exact same problem when I was just watching the time tick away and suddenly graduation was getting closer and closer. This lockdown has really allowed me to slow down a bit and reflect on what I really want to do after I graduate.

    Whether I get a job or internship straight away or take a break to enjoy my summer, there is no right or wrong answer. Instead, I am just working on what is beneficial for me both mentally and physically.

    I don’t have an exact plan but I’ll see where life may take me.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Wow, what a lovely blog and so clearly explains the challenges you have had over the last few months. You do now sound so much clearer and assured and the time has helped. Always a silver lining my lovely. So pleased you are now focused and your plans set going forward. Love you my baby girl. Xxxx

    Liked by 1 person

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