So the other day I was sat on the bus, holding an empty Starbuck’s cup which was once filled with a large Caramel Macchiato which I bought in the morning at uni.
As the bus stopped to allow the drivers to change over, I realized that the last time I was sat on a bus with a cup of coffee was when I was 15 years old, it was a boiling summer day and the bus was like a furnace – I should have used my initiative and thought actually a *hot* coffee will probably do more worse than good – but no. I was filled with this peculiar light headed over heating feeling.
I did this because I was at a point in life where I knew I was ‘Maya Cuthbert’, but I hadn’t really worked out WHO I was inside. Instead I allowed the influence of others and of famous people, even film characters to impact me- this caused me to simply chase ‘an image’ and adopt mannerisms, which I saw in various celebrities and characters which were not me. It was fulfilling if other people saw and commented, but never in the comfort of my own company.
So today I want to talk about not letting others and ‘image’ define who you are and your habits, but it is about uncovering whats going on inside that defines you and who you are. *cliche I know… but once you have solidified who you are inside, you’ll adopt your own habits that feel right – which means you won’t ever find yourself sitting on a bus mid-summer, feeling funny because you saw Spencer drinking coffee in a car during an episode of Pretty Little Liars.
Embracing and knowing who you are don’t happen by observing others and thinking ‘i want to be like that’ or ‘look like that’ and copying them, psychology says it is done in a couple of simple steps. Lots of people roll my eyes when I tell them they need to find themselves, but when I say I found myself a couple of years ago and it was the best thing to have happened, and the best thing I enjoy to top up with time, I honestly recommend it – I have been thinking about talking more on ‘Finding Yourself’, Thoughts?
- Establishing your identity through getting to know yourself – your likes, your dislikes, your biggest dreams and deepest fears.
- Establishing your value system and making sure others know about it, and ensuring you practice what you value and not be swayed when you don’t want to.
- Get to know how you react to different situations, and what causes your temperament to change – knowing this helps you to remember how to act in certain situations, and when to let people know they’ve upset you for example.
- My favorite, if you constantly chase the life of others – you’re going to get no where. You need to have some personal goals – long term and short term. I found comfort in creating my goals for one years time, five years time and ten years time. Having goals gives you something to work towards, and when you have goals you are passionate about forces the real you to come out with excitement and joy – again, paying attention to what you enjoy, your values and interests while doing so, will only help you to get to know yourself even more!
Reflecting on my earlier comment, I think I will start talking a bit more about finding yourself and how useful, not matter how stupid, it sounds. Because it is real, and it is worth it.
For now, start being the character in your own book or series, and the celebrity in your own reality tv show!