Dealing With Insecurities

Insecurities are things that plague everyone in their everyday life. As much as nobody wants to be bugged by the damned things, they’ll always plonk themselves into the busiest and happiest of your days and niggle at your feelings. Chip away at your self esteem.

For me, personally, I’m insecure in the way I look and my ability to do things.. I think that stems from the rough time I had at school and I’ve just generally not had the best self perceptions. And dealing with these things are tough, but I always get bugged by a sense that I’m being really stupid. I know I’m attractive, I get an abundance of compliments and so I don’t understand why I struggle with the way I look. There are some days where I totally feel like I’m the, and other days where I want to curl up under my duvet because I feel like crust. Or things like relationships I would have to say I’ve had a couple of relationships that really put me down in the gutter, which make me feel insecure in other ways, I’m also a rather jealous person as a result of past relationships and I’m bad at expressing that. A couple of months ago I honestly struggled just talking to boys because that fear of being hurt or rejected was so immensely large for me that i don’t even want to risk it.

Insecurities are NOT fun, but you’ve got to always remember that these thoughts are probably not even true to other people. We all have our own personal ones which is what makes it harder to try and explain how to deal with them, but the one universal thing is that these things make you feel pants. They have the power to take you from 100-0 faster than you can say real quick. I guess with my insecurities I can say that there’s nothing I can do to get rid of them, but there are ways of dealing with them in a healthy manner.

  1. The first thing you need to do, is to put on a brave front and try and work out the route of the feeling, was it from past criticisms, is it your own negative sense of self, social media, trust issues? Try and work out where is gas come from and face that head on
  2. If it involves someone else then have a calm, neutral conversation about how, whatever the situation is, is making you feel. You don’t need to argue and it may initially cause some conflict but they should be able to listen and be respectful of how whatever is going on is making you feel.
  3. Remind yourself that just because you’re thinking something, it does not mean it is true. Thoughts are dangerous as sometimes they can encourage us to believe something that has no evidence to back it up, and we will really let that affect us and our moods. Remind yourself that whatever the insecurity, unless you’ve got something to confirm it, it’s probably not true.
  4. When a thought of insecurity comes into your mind openly tell it to F off. Resilience is key.
  5. Accept yourself and who you are. Spend some time with yourself and really learn to love yourself.
  6. If your insecurities have been shaped by the actions of others, then you need to find a way to be at peace with that. Forgive the person who caused you pain. Leaving the past (behind you like a ponytail – Right Hand – Drake) in the past where it should be.
  7. Do not actively allow yourself to compare yourself with anyone else. Look after you, accept you, love you for YOU.
  8. Surround yourself with people who make you feel good. Chop those negative people straight out of your life and focus on the people who don’t make you feel bad about yourself and ensure you make them feel good about themselves too.
  9. The most important one is to remember that it is okay to feel insecure, it’s not a feeling anyone should be ashamed of and if you want to let someone know their actions have made you feel some kind of way let them know. Don’t hide your insecurities away- because that leaves a lot of space for them to get to you little by little.

The most important thing is to remember that you’re an awesome human, you are literally a miracle. Remember that you are on this earth, you’ve got life and many haven’t had that same chance. Now that’s not to say that you can’t feel pooey sometimes because that is completely natural and normal.

But just remember that you are great ❤️

Talk later

-Maya x


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