I was having a conversation with my friends earlier this week about the things we have come across in relationships/near relationships. To be honest we were probably talking more about the dreaded ‘talking phase’ of the beginnings of a relationship, when you’re talking and you guys are unspokenly dating, but you haven’t established a proper relationship- there’s been no ‘what are we’ conversation.
But from those conversations I have compiled a list of things that, my friends and I -and hopefully you will find relatable too, are complete turn offs.
My personal top one that gets to me THE MOST, is over clingy-ness and spending too much time together, when they get a bit too over protective of you too soon. Wren they write you poems, and you seem to be seeing them around every corner you take even your local corner shop, when they appear wherever you go, when you feel as though it would upset them if they knew you had things as simple as male friends. DUN DUN DUUUNNN!! Don’t be that person. Please. The ‘talking’/dating phase is supposed to be a relaxed and chilled time where you can get to know someone.
Another one, is when people either don’t talk about their intentions with you, or worse when they claim one intention but then start acting differently. Like if you don’t wanna wife me, let me know to save me from any unexpected hurt. If you just wanna talk on messenger for the rest of time let me know, so I can cut you off. BUT similarly, it is horrendous when someone tries to assume the direction of the situationship without discussing it properly. Don’t tell everyone how in love you are when you’re still only in the talking phase.
When you really think you are getting on well with the person you are talking to, and all seems to be going great, and then suddenly they start acting up for no apparent reason… WHILE STILL ONLY IN THE TALKING PHASE is just not okay. And on the flip side, definitely when they get too clingy and comfortable with you in the early stages of the relationship. A little personal space goes a long, long way in relationships. Didn’t you know that absence makes the heart grow fonder????? Or they… just cut you off. (Trash)
When you think they’re the sexiest beast on the planet, but then they have really dead conversation or a really dead personality. Dead meaning boring, rude and just generally not the one. It is a turn off because you can hardly picture yourself being with someone who only ever has ‘hey.’ ‘hey’ ‘wuu2.’ ‘nm u?’ ‘nm’conversations. Why would you do that to yourself. And I quote Faz here ‘honestly dead convo might as well be no convo.’
Slow replies, no effort and being told I’m ‘moving mad’ when I haven’t done anything at all. Also, when its unclear and has no direction. *don’t even need to add anything else to this* She got it all in the bag.
White lies in the beginning, are a tell tale sign of someone who is not the one. They’re a huuugggeee turn off. JUST BE HONEST. If you’re going to lie, what are your intentions? Where is lying going to get you, other than deep deep down in your lying hole. Can’t make up a lifestyle for us to live when we get married (just kidding obviously) And linked to that she said leading on. This one is the worst and relates to the intentions conundrum. Lead me on and I’ll kill you… in my dreams, because I’m too nice. But still, leading someone on when you either know you don’t want a relationship, or if your life just won’t allow it, is a nasty thing to do to a person, a really truly nasty thing.
When all they do is take- in the conversation. When the conversation is always somehow geared back to them is horrendous, even simple things like when you have a problem and suddenly they have experienced the same thing but only 12 times worse… like actually just leave. just go. you don’t need that.
My favourite response- Please don’t cut all your friends off for me, I don’t want you 24/7. Don’t change all of your likes and dislikes for me, BE YOUR OWN PERSON. LIVE YOUR LIFE. And if you allow me to fall behind in my work then you’re not for me tbh.
On a more positive note, I’ll do a relationship/situationship turn on’s in the future, use these to ward off any unwanted insects and you’ll find your Prince or Princess Charming don’t worry.